Transcription
EN: Hello, welcome to Let’s talk. Today we have with us Marija Đurđević, and we will be talking about youth mental health. Hello, Marija!
MĐ: Hello, Nora!
EN: How are you today?
MĐ: I’m fine today. I’m just on my way from the counselling centre and it’s a good time to be talking about this topic.
EN: You are a youth worker and psychologist, that is, a psychotherapist in education.
MĐ: That’s right.
EN: I am interested in how often and to whom young people honestly answer this question ,,How are you’’?
MĐ: Ugh. Well, I think that young people, like other people, answer this question honestly to whoever is genuinely interested in it. If it’s something in passing, then they’ll say ‘’sooo good’’, like they usually say what they’re doing at that moment, they don’t say how they are, they don’t answer the question “How are you?”. Instead they say, ‘’I’m leaving school’’ or ‘’I’m going to school’’ or something like that. While, for example, in therapy, when we ask them, they say how they’re actually doing. For example, it often happens now that even when their parents ask them, they don’t answer that question, they don’t say any emotion, but the same, what they’re currently doing. But what I notice in my work with young people is that they talk to each other much more honestly and more sincerely and confess much more, which is somehow normal for that age period. Because right now, they are the most important to each other.
EN: That’s exactly what I wanted to ask you. Young people talk a lot between each other, but then we reach a point when friends can no longer help and be sufficient support. I am interested in why today’s young people turn for support the most and what they need support for.
MĐ: Specifically, at our counselling centre, most people come to us for family problems, then due to some life crises, and they often come actually because of some fear, because of anxiety… And then when we start talking and when we go a little deeper, we find roots in the family, as it always happens. It depends on the problem, but specifically at our counselling centre, young people have 10 free sessions and often those 10 sessions are not enough, but they help someone if they have some current life challenges, problems, regarding school, socialising, and relationships. And then when you give them some tools, after those ten sessions they can manage somehow on their own. Whereas, for example, if we are talking about very toxic relationships and a toxic family, then much more work, patience and will are needed on the part of a young person to face some of those more difficult situations.
EN: Do you think that young people then give up after a while or remain persistent in solving their problems?
MĐ: Well, it depends a lot on the therapist and psychologist they are seeing, but also on how much they are ready to work at that moment. I mean the fact is that psychotherapy can be counterproductive for people who don’t want to come to psychotherapy. Because when we talk about psychotherapy, it is necessary that both people give 100%. So not 50-50%, but both really working on it. Whereas, for example, you have people who come to psychotherapy because someone forced them and sent them, and they don’t really want to change, for some reason it’s okay for them to have these problems, and then they go to two sessions and say, “This is doing nothing for me.” and then they have an excuse why they will no longer go to psychotherapy. So it all depends.
EN: Could you tell us more about the process of getting free psychological support in Novi Sad and what it looks like for young people, and specifically in which centre do you volunteer? So that maybe some of the young people listening to this will be motivated to come forward.
MĐ: I volunteer at the Edit Centre, more precisely at Infopolis in the Youth Counseling Centre. In Novi Sad, we have a Constellation of Support, which was actually started by OPENS, and there are larger counseling centres, for example, the Novi Sad Humanitarian Center, the SOS Women’s Centre, the Psychological Counselling Centre for Youth within SOS Women’s Centre, there is the Ubuntu Centre, also the Constellation of Support website has phone numbers of counselling centres and how to reach them. Specifically, you can contact Infopolis on the Facebook page, and you can also schedule your meeting by email. What we have as an option is also group psychotherapy, where there are actually young people in groups of between five and eight, and that’s also great, especially if it’s more urgent for you, since unfortunately the waiting lists are quite long, but if it’s urgent, you can emphasize that, so they would then redirect you somewhere where you can start therapy right away. But those group ones, that I started talking about, are useful because you have the support of the groups themselves. So, the peers themselves, not just the therapist. And again, when you hear some other stories, then it motivates you to some extent, maybe you get some solutions for your current condition and your current problem, to accept some things more easily, while for example in the individual session you only have a therapist, but with that therapist, you can go much deeper into the problem and topic itself.
EN: And when those 10 free sessions are over, what can young people do next?
MĐ: If they want to stay with that therapist, they pay 1,000 dinars (around 8 euros), specifically at Infopolis, I don’t know about other counseling centres, and that’s it. And they can call when they need it and it’s urgent, it doesn’t have to be sessions once a week, it can continue once every two or three weeks. If they don’t have the financial means, they can also try, although it depends on the counselling centre, to register again on the waiting list, but then they will have to again wait two or three months to meet with a therapist in the counseling center.
EN: Well, thanks. And finally – what is your message for young people who feel that something is not okay?
MĐ: To talk to someone they trust. If they don’t have someone they trust, to reach out to anyone in the Constellation of Support and know that it’s okay to feel that way and to allow themselves to feel that way. To accept all emotions, not to suppress them, but to know that every emotion is there for a reason, at least to protect them.
EN: Thank you very much. You have been listening to Let’s Talk.
EN: Zdravo dobrodošli/e u Let’s talk. Danas je sa nama Marija Đurđević i pričaćemo o mentalnom zdravlju mladih. Ćao, Marija!
MĐ: Ćao, Nora!
EN: Kako si danas?
MĐ: Danas sam dobro. Evo upravo dolazim iz savetovališta i baš je pravo vreme da pričamo o ovoj temi.
EN: Ti si omladinska radnica i psihološkinja, odnosno psihoterapeutkinja u edukaciji.
MĐ: Tako je.
EN: Zanima me koliko često i kome mladi iskreno odgovore na ovo pitanje ,,Kako si?”.
MĐ: Uf. Pa, ja mislim da mladi kao i drugi ljudi odgovore na ovo pitanje iskreno onome koga to iskreno i zanima. Ako je to nešto usputno onda će reći eeevooo dobro, obično kažu šta rade u tom momentu, ne kažu uopšte kako su, ne odgovore na pitanje „Kako si?“ Nego kažu evo idem iz škole ili idem u školu ili nešto na taj fazon. Dok na primer na terapiji kada ih pitamo, onda i kažu. Na primer dešava se sad često da i kad ih roditelji pitaju oni ne odgovore na to pitanje, ne kažu nikakvu emociju, nego isto tako što trenutno rade. Ali ono što u radu sa mladima primetim je da oni između sebe pričaju mnogo iskrenije i mnogo iskrenije i mnogo se više ispovedaju što je nekako i normalno za taj uzrasni period. Jer su jedni drugima najbitniji trenutno.
EN: Baš sam to htela i da te pitam. Mladi puno pričaju između sebe, ali onda dođemo do nekog momenta kada više prijatelji ne mogu da pomognu i da budu dovoljna podrška. Mene zanima zbog čega se danas mladi najviše obraćaju i za šta im je potrebna podrška.
MĐ: Konkretno kod nas u savetovalištu najviše se obraćaju za porodične probleme, nakon toga za neke životne krize, i često dolaze zapravo zbog nekog straha, zbog anksioznosti… I onda kada počnemo da pričamo i kada idemo malo dublje onda nađemo korene u porodici, kako to uvek biva. Zavisi od problema, ali konkretno kod nas u savetovalištu mladi imaju besplatnih 10 seansi i često tih 10 seansi nisu dovoljne, ali nekome i pomognu ako neko ima trenutne neke životne izazove, probleme, oko škole, druženja, veze. I onda kad im daš neke alate, onda oni posle tih deset seansi mogu nekako i sami da se snađu. Dok na primer ako pričamo baš o mnogo toksičnim odnosima i toksičnoj porodici to je onda potrebno mnogo više rada i strpljenja i volje od strane mlade osobe da se uopšte suoči sa nekim tim težim situacijama.
EN: Jel misliš da mlade osobe onda odustanu onda posle nekog vremena ili da ostanu istrajne u tome da reše svoje probleme?
MĐ: Pa to zavisi mnogo i od terapeuta i psihologa kod kog su, ali i do njih samih koliko su oni spremni u tom momentu da rade. Mislim ono što jeste činjenica je da psihoterapija može biti kontraproduktivna kod osoba koje ne žele da dolaze na psihoterapiju. Jer kada pričamo o psihoterapiji, to je neophodno da obe osobe daju 100%. Znači ne 50 – 50% nego obe zaista da radu na tome. Dok na primer imate osobe koje dođu na psihoterapiju jer ih je neko naterao i poslao, a one zapravo ne žele da se menjaju, iz nekog razloga je njima okej da su u tim problemima, i onda oni odu na dve seanse i kažu „Ovo meni ništa ne pomaže“ i onda imaju izgovor zašto dalje neće da idu na psihoterapiju. Tako da sve zavisi.
EN: Hajde nam više ispričaj o procesu dobijanja besplatne psihološke podrške u Novom Sadu i kako to izgleda za mlade i konkretno u kom ti centru volontiraš? Tako da možda neko od mladih koji slušaju ovo, dobiju motivaciju da se jave.
MĐ: Ja volontiram u Edit centru tačnije u Infopolisu u Savetovalištu za mlade. U Novom Sadu imamo Sazvežđe podrške koje je zapravo započeo OPENS i ima većih savetovališta, na primer Novosadski humanitarni centar, SOS ženski centar, Psihološko savetovalište za mlade u okviru SOS Ženskog centra, ima Ubuntu centar, ima na sajtu Sazvežđa podrške i tamo su i brojevi telefona i kako se prijaviti. Konkretno u Infopolisu možete se javiti i na Facebook stranici, a možete i mejlom da zakažete svoj susret. Ono što mi imamo kao opciju su i grupne psihoterapije gde su tu zapravo mladi u grupicama između pet i osam i to je isto sjajno, naročito ako vam je hitnije, pošto nažalost liste čekanja su dosta duge, ali ako je hitno moožete to naglasiti, pa bi vas onda preusmerili negde gde odmah možete da krenete na terapiju. Ali te grupne, to sam počela da pričam, su korisne zato što tu imate i podrške samih grupa. Znači samih vršnjaka, ne samo terapeuta. I to opet, kad čujete neke druge priče, onda vas to donekle i motiviše, možda dobijete neka rešenja i za svoje trenutno stanje i za svoj trenutni problem, da i lakše prihvatite neke stvari, dok na primer na individualnoj imate samo terapeuta, ali sa tim terapeutom možete da idete mnogo dublje u samu problematiku i tematiku.
EN: I kada prođe tih 10 besplatnih seansi, šta onda mladi mogu dalje da urade?
MĐ: Dalje ukoliko žele da ostanu kod tog terapeuta plaćaju 1000 dinara, konkretno u infopolisu, za druga savetovališta ne znam i to je to. I oni mogu da se jave kada je njima potrebno i hitno, ne moraju to da budu seanse jednom u nedeljno, to može da se nastavi jednom u dve ili tri nedelje. Ono što se isto može probati, ali to treba da se vidi sa savetovalištem, ukoliko nemaju finansijskih mogućnosti, onda mogu ponovo da se prijave na listu čekanja, ali onda će opet čekati dva tri meseca da bi opet došli kod nekog terapeuta u savetovalište.
EN: Dobro, hvala. I za kraj – koja je tvoja poruka koju imaš za mlade koji osećaju da nešto nije okej?
MĐ: Da razgovaraju sa nekim kome veruju. Ako nemaju nekog kome veruju, da se jave bilo kome u Sazvežđu podrške i da znaju da je okej da se tako osećaju i da dozvole sebi da se tako osećaju. Da prihvate sve emocije, da ne potiskuju, nego da znaju da je svaka emocija tu sa nekim razlogom, da ih zaštiti u krajnjem slučaju.
EN: Hvala ti puno. Slušali ste Let’s Talk.